So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
