Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
