so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
