I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
