why didn't you poke me back
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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