I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
