I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
