im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
