I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
