I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
