My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
