i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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