I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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