dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
