marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
