apparently the secret to your success is patron
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
