the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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