If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
