She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
