tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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