Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Randomize
