We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
