Duck Duck Cougar?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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