Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
