I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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