I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
