i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
