i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
