Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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