My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
