she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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