I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
