First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize