You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
