Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
