Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
As shirtless as possible
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
