he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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