I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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