HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
