Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
