Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
