So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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