I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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