She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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