Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
