This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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