I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
