maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
