During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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