I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
