He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
