It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
